Key Steps Freelance Writers Must Take to Deal with Negative Feedback, Harsh Edits, and Multiple Edits

Have you had moments where you cried over edits or scathing feedback you've gotten on a piece you were really proud of? Me too. It hurts like crazy at first, but sometimes there's a lot of learn in the critiques and client changes of our writing.

This week's livestream is going over what to do when dealing with negative feedback, how to figure what advice you should and shouldn't take, and how to create a mindset where criticism can roll off your back.

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Key Steps Freelance Writers Must Take to Deal with Negative Feedback, Harsh Edits, and Multiple Edits

So negative feedback and getting edits and dealing with harsh changes to your work is part of being a writer. Right? But there are different ways in different steps that we can take to kind of deal with that part of the process and deal with the editing and deal with whether or not we should take the changes or whether or not we should say like, why are we doing this and why are we making this.

So today we're going over that. And I think that's really important because feedback and edits are just a normal part of the writing process. Right. We submit our work to our clients and we wonder, okay, how is this going to go? And for me, whenever I get a new client, I'm often thinking about like stabs in the dark.

I'm like, okay, well, is this close or is this like, am I kind of hitting the target? Like where are we going? So whenever you submit your first work for the client, always keep in mind that you're kind of. Testing the waters basically. So you're trying to figure out like, is what I'm thinking, the same thing, as you're thinking, even though you have a brief, and even though you follow directions, sometimes you get, you know, there's misinterpretations or mistakes or whatever.

So when you're kind of thinking about doing these edits and the first time you submit work, this is part of the process of getting used to working with that client. What are they looking for? What are the specifics that are useful for that client? Uh, what are the things that really stick out to them?

And this is kind of something that I've been talking about with perfectionism as well. Your idea of perfection in your work is different than your client's idea of perfection. So your client may come back and say, wow, your work was amazing. Like good job. And you're like, okay, cool. Like I did it right.

But they don't always explain to you what you did. Right. Or what they. So then you're stuck in this thing where you're like, what I did was perfect. So what I think is perfect is perfect for them. And that's not always the case. They may be looking at, you know, um, a whole bunch of different things in your work that they really want.

But you're looking at a whole bunch of other things that you like, and they're not the same. So the deal is when we're doing these edits and getting feedback, this is a normal part of the process, but there's a way to deal with the hard parts of doing edits and the hard parts of dealing with, um, making changes or kind of getting your work to a better level.

So what we're talking about is, um, when we're dealing with negative feedback, this is what we should do. Here's some steps. So let's talk about number. Number one, where's my number one there.

Step 1: Normalize Getting Feedback, Don’t Take it Personally - Remember Famous Author Stories

So number one, this is normal. Let's normalize. This edits and feedback are normal. Harsh edits and negative feedback can be normal.

We can be part of the process where like one editor or one client you work with is just used to giving very open and honest feedback. And sometimes we're not used to receiving it, right? Like we're not used to someone saying like, this sucks, fix this here. Whatever, for me, when I started getting feedback on my writing, I knew like just from being a writer, um, and going to college for writing and writing a lot of papers, right.

That this is part of the process. You get feedback and changes and edits. Um, information about making it better or whatever. And I think the, the initial thing to think about is not taking it personally. So when you're kind of doing these edits and when you're kind of putting things together, don't take it personally that you're the worst writer ever, or that they hate your work or that, um, you did a really shitty job.

Don't take it personally because it's, I think the idea is, and I, I often go to food metaphors. Just because, um, a restaurant makes a bad dish doesn't mean that restaurant is terrible or just because a farmer has a bad season. That doesn't mean that that farmer is a bad farmer, right. It just means that there are extenuating circumstances that kind of affected that.

And whether that's a dish at a restaurant where they just combine these really weird ingredients and to them, it tastes good. And to their customer, they're like, what is this? No, um, it's not. Something that you should take personally in that you're a horrible writer or you made a mistake. There are millions of clients out there, and it could be that this client is just not your client.

Like they, they're just not, you guys aren't on the same wavelength and that's fine. Um, what you think might be a good match. And when you turn in your work, they're like, what is this? I don't get it. There's sometimes just a mismatch. Like there's sometimes a mismatch in how you put your work together or how you think about the content or how you're, um, dealing with.

The structure of the piece, how you think about the, how the ideas should flow. Sometimes there's just a big difference. So don't take it personally. I think it's more about this one piece. It's not about your whole portfolio or your whole identity as a writer. It's just about dealing with this one piece.

So the first thing is just like, don't take it personally and realize that it's just one article or one case study or one piece of content that you've seen. And then as you go along, if you keep getting the same edits and the same feedback, you need to fix your writing process, you need to kind of pay attention to that.

Um, if you have like a one comment where someone said something and you're like, that's weird. I, you know, none of my clients have said that, or that's weird, you know, I just didn't recognize that in my writing, keep it in your, you know, keep it in your noodle, write it down and pay attention to. Right as you go along, but the deal is that just because you get fat, bad feedback or you get harsh feedback on a piece, doesn't mean that you should take it personally and start saying like, I'm a bad writer and I can't do this.

It's just not, it's not the case. Um, yeah, this is great. Margaret says that client is more like peanut butter and Cheetos rather than peanut butter and jelly. Exactly. Sometimes it's just this mismatch. Oh my gosh. You can't start making noises. Now we just started. Um, yeah, this is exactly. Yeah. So like, basically think of it as it's not about like you, it's not a personal thing.

It's just about this particular article. Um, and I personally, I think this is great, Margaret. I personally have gone, you know, like I have coaching students, right? I do one-on-one coaching and I have freelance writer, wealth lab, which is my course, and I give people feedback and it's just like, Unvarnished, but also nice opinion of what they're doing.

Right? And sometimes people are like, oh my God, you think I'm doing a terrible job? And it's like, no, I've just gotten used to the flow of information. In that manner of like, how can I help you get better? If I don't tell you all these things, like how can we actually make this a good website or a good LinkedIn profile or a good piece, like a good sample for you?

If I don't give you what I think your clients are looking for, what I've noticed in your work or what I've noticed, um, being a writer for 10 years, right? Or actually it's more than that. That I think is a thing that writers have to get used to is there's going to be writers who give you harsh feedback.

That's just their style is to just tell you, like this sucks, fix it. And you're like, oh my God, it sucks. And it's just, they don't, it's not personal. They're just like, in their mind, they're just like, this sucks. Do this thing. Like, to me, it's a, like, it's a non-emotional tone. Like when I'm going through someone's.

Like if you've ever gotten feedback from me and I'm sure a lot of you have doesn't has Margaret. I think you might have to morning Beza morning, Margaret glad you're here. So if anybody's ever gotten feedback from me, I always take it in this like non-emotional tone, unless I'm excited. Right? The emotion I get is like, yes, this is the best gold star.

This is keep this, like, there's that. But most of the time when I'm giving like edits, I'm saying it in a non-emotional like, Hey, this needs to be fixed. Hey, you think about that? You know, do this like a monitor. You know, like Bueller, Bueller kinda kind of deal. And I think writers are often reading it with the tone and emotion that they have this little voice in their head telling them that they're shitty writer.

Right. So they hear it in that voice rather than the editor being like, ah, fix this thing or like, eh, whatever I will will. Whew. Do you want to be, oh, I thought I'd fix this, but I guess I didn't. Hello friends. Hello? Woo friends. There we go. Now everybody's in the picture, Charlotte, how can you sit like that?

You just look so ridiculous sometimes. Like you're just like a little Frenchy sassy and all right. Let's see if we can get everybody on there without it being messed up. There we go. Well, I guess that's where it was. All right. Can you catch these? These are smaller, right? He went to three dogs. Nope, too small.

You go. I've had the one good job. Did you get a very good job, bud? I have different size treats. Now these are very small. So let me show you the difference just since we're taking a little break. So this is one of the ones that I normally throw them. And this is the side that I have now. So when you have a 15 and a half year old dog who is about, he's like gonna turn 16 in six months.

Yeah. May. Yeah. So in November, he'll turn 16. Like this is a big deal. This is hard for room to, uh, to deal with. So very, I think I'll, I'll throw you the big ones and give me a little intro. Hold on. Ready? 1, 2, 3 dog. Oh, so close right in front of you, buddy. It's literally right in front of you. You back up.

I got, I got, I got all the way. Good job. All right. So don't take it personally and kind of read the edits more in a monotone voice. So when you're kind of going through dealing with this negative feedback, don't take it personally. It's just. The process of writing and it's taking two brains or multiple brains and converging on one article or one case study or whatever, that's just part of the process.

Uh, the other part that you should think about is that you can't become a better writer without feedback. You just can't, you can't do it without getting feedback from editors without getting feedback from clients, without reading your own work, hundreds and thousands, like. Excuse me. I've read my work probably like millions of times by now.

Cause you know, when you edit it, you read it so many times and when you write it, you read it so many times and that's just part of the process is like learning that and, and understanding that in order to get better, you need outside eyes looking at your work. And this is part of just, okay, this is a good story.

This is a story my dad has been telling me. Since forever. Like, since I can remember, my dad told me this story and I think this is a really good example. So when, when Tom Clancy wrote hunt for red October, he turned in the book, right. He finished it. He was like, I did it. I, I finished it, you know, and he turned it in and they were like, that's nice, but this is garbage.

Go back and rewrite the whole thing. And my, my dad's been telling me this story since forever, and I've always kept it in the back. So Tom Clancy at the time, you know, he wasn't an unknown writer. Like he was, he was, he was, um, if I remember right, he like had some books out, like he wasn't a rando just turning in a book.

So, um, and it might've been his first book, but he had been writing, like, it was a thing. So he turned it in and they were like, this is hot, garbage, this is trash, like good job for turning it in, but you need to go rewrite the whole. So he didn't give up, he didn't give up and be like, oh, well I guess this, my publisher thinks this book is trash.

I'd better just like give up. And I'm a terrible writer. No, he went back and he rewrote the whole thing. And now it's, you know, this huge book that has movies and all this, right. It's this huge. And this is just part of the process. And the same thing goes for like JK rallying, right. Or rolling, or however you say her last name, right?

When she wrote Harry Potter, she took it to 26 publishers and everyone was like, no, one's going to believe in this Wizarding stuff. This is, this is trash. And then someone finally gave it a chance. Right. And then all of the readers loved it. The publishers didn't get it, but the readers loved it. This is just part of, and she had to rewrite a lot of the first books.

She had to rewrite a bunch of. So this is part of the process. And I'm trying to normalize this, um, in the context of books, but like you imagine you spend time writing a hundred thousand words, you write a hundred thousand words, right? The average book could be anywhere. I think if I'm remember, right, the average book is like 50 or 60,000 words to a hundred thousand plus words.

Let's just say a hundred thousand words is that bullying at me? I have stuff to say, Lulu, I hear you. I hear you willing. I hear you're willing. You'd be in a SAS factory. Okay. So let's imagine you write a hundred thousand words, not a thousand words like you would for a normal article, but you write a hundred thousand words and someone comes to you and says, you need to start over.

That's nice. Start over. Right. That's way more devastating than one. Hello? Are you stuck? Stuck in your blankie? Um, that's way more devastating than one, 1000 word article or 10, 1000 word articles or whatever. So keep that in the back of your mind, this is a normal part of the process. Don't take it personally, right?

They, they weren't telling Tom Clancy that he was a terrible writer. Oh. And I think the same thing happened to Dan brown when he was writing the, um, uh, you know, the fancy Tom Hanks movies with like the murder and the clergy. Why am I blanking on that? You know, Dan brown that wrote all of the like church conspiracy stuff with Tom Hanks.

And if you, if you guys know what I'm talking about, put it in the chat or the comments like, but, um, you, you know what I'm talking about? Like the, the movie with Tom Hanks where he's hunting and all the clergy are dying and, uh, the conspiracy stuff. And, um, it doesn't matter. Dan brown had to rewrite a bunch of stuff.

Tom Clancy had to rerun to rewrite a bunch of stuff. It doesn't mean, and their books are best sellers. It doesn't mean you're a bad writer. Then you have to fix it. You have to get feedback to become a better writer, DaVinci code. Thank you, Margaret. Yes. So that kind of stuff is the difference, right? The difference is had they not done those edits, their books might not have been successful or had they not gotten that feedback.

They wouldn't have become a better writer. Had they given up and tooken it, take it personally. And when like, oh, well I guess I suck at this. I'll just give up, like they wouldn't have what they have. So don't take it personally and understand that it's part of the. Doesn't it says, I always have to remind myself not to add emotion.

When I read edits. I'd rather things be, are found before it gets published. Yes. This is a good point. Another point here is that when your, let's say your, your work gets published and the people reading it are like, why was this published? This is trash. Then you're like, oh crap, our editor, like my editor, and I should have caught this, like what's happening, you know, we made.

It's like when something gets published and someone makes a mistake, like one spelling mistake, or they make one grammar mistake and everyone's like, oh my God, you guys are the worst editors ever. Like we're still humans. Number one. But the other thing is that yeah, you want things to be found before it gets published.

You don't want someone just to like, accept all your work and be like gold star and then it gets published and everyone hates it. Hey Marie, welcome in. So that's another thing is we want things to be found before it's published and we want to understand the. W some of the best writing advice I've ever gotten has come from, what are you doing under the camera?

Get out of, there has come from editors and come from clients that are like, you should think about this. And I'm like, oh my God. I never thought about that. Those are the best things is like people who can look at your work and open your eyes. And I get people like, I get people who are like, oh my gosh, I love your work.

Like I read this thing that you wrote, or like, I love your piece on this. And I'm like, that's because I listened to all these edits, my work got better. Cause I stood, I did the things they asked me to do. And that's part of the process. Like you need someone to look at your work from like a non-biased perspective.

Most of the time. And when you don't take it personally. And when you kind of have this growth mindset, when you have the mindset that, Hey, I I'm always growing. I'm always improving. Yeah. I don't suck at writing. There's no like absolutes. If you kind of live in this growth mindset where you're like, I'm, I'm learning, I'm learning as a writer, I'm learning to get better.

Um, and if you, oh my gosh, you guys are sassy today. So if you have other writers that you look up to, like, this is something I keep in my noodle. Is that there are writers that I look up to the only way that they became those writers that you look up to is because they took feedback. They took edits, they understood the process.

They figured out what they needed to do to become better writers. People don't just like write the same way forever. Right? That's why some people end up having bestsellers and the end of their careers. Terrible. Maybe they never grew. They didn't. Expanded and took the feedback. They just kept writing the same style, the same thing over and over again.

And people were like, okay, like what's new. Um, but I think that the writers you look up to and the work that you see is an amalgamation of all the edits and all the feedback and all the changes and learning to get a better writer, like keeping that learner's mindset and that growth mindset about your writing is super important.

So let's go, we're going to do a pup date and then we're going to get to 0.2. All right. Can you guys go back to your home? Like I'm being. I'm being Harris. Go back to your household, go back to your other probable you can't sit in her Hobbit hole. Cause now, all right, Mary, I'm gonna throw one over there.

Ready buddy. Go get it. Cause she doesn't like it when you sit on her. Hey Getty. Welcome in. Glad you're here. All right, let's do a little high five high five. Good girl. The otherwise good job. All right, let's see. I wonder if I can do this. There we go.

All right. Many. Can you do a high five? Good job. Good job. Otherwise. Good girl. All right. Very ready. Very we're going to have to buy these big treats for you. Cause you're like those old people that need like the big eye chart. Ready? Good job, buddy. Good job. I wonder if I can get it to like balance out.

There we go. That purple thing you just saw is one of their dog toys. Otherwise. Thank you. Bless you. Okay. Good girl. Good girl. All right, buddy. One more.

Oh, sorry buddy. You got it. Wait. Okay. We almost had a disaster, but I think we're okay. All right. So, um, no, go back. there you go. Lay down. Good boy, they're a little antsy because they've been locked in a bunch. We have like a, you know, they're allowed to like go outside whenever they want normally. But, uh, our fence, we're getting our fence fixed, so we don't want them to run away.

So they've been inside more than outside. So they're a little antsy pantsy. Maurice has a friend who wrote fiction in a love scene, interspersed with dialogue. I had to get the heroin out of bed, putting down one foot then another, then another in the published version. Yeah. So that would be weird. Um, so it's probably just the edits, it's just the changes in the, in their work.

Step 2: What Edits Should You Take And What Feedback Shouldn’t You Take - Developing Trust

Right. That's part of it. All right. Let's talk about too. Hold on. Let me find my two. There it is. Okay. So number two here. So we need to figure out which advice we shouldn't should and shouldn't take, now, this comes from trust. I think that this is a really important. So I always kind of start my relationships with editors.

Sorry, my sorry.

Oh, okay. So I always start with the idea that my clients or my editors are coming from the viewpoint of their ideal clients or their ideal. So the feedback they're giving me as through the eyes of who will be reading the piece. So if you come through it that way, your end goal is to make the piece great for the reader.

Yes. We have to meet the editors expectations and the client expectations and all that stuff. But the end goal is always like, who's reading this and what are they going to do with it? So I always kind of imagined that, um, the editor and the client are like, my audience wants. My audience doesn't understand this phrase, my audience, like, I always kind of think of it that way.

So when I'm taking their advice and I'm thinking about it, I'm like, does their audience really want that? So like, I first, at first I'm like, okay, they're coming from the viewpoint of their audience. And then my back checking double-check right. My double-check is like, do I know their audience well enough to say, do they, or don't they want.

And most of the time, I'll just tell you, like I do like 99.9% of edits. Like if someone comes to me and says, fix this thing, do I just do it? Because I either know their audience? Well, I know the magazine, well, I know their who they're like, you know who their clientele are. Um, I understand that they're coming at it like saying, Hey, like we need to fix this thing because our product, um, this is a confusing explanation of our product or our.

So I do the edits because I know that they need to be done in a certain way for the audience in a certain way for the client or the magazine. And I have, you know, the idea of what it should be. So I know there's a lot of writers who push back on edits and they're coming from this place of like, I always kind of feel like they push back on edits because they're taking it very personally.

They're like, no, the piece has to have this phrase because dah, dah, dah, dah, it doesn't have to have. Right. The piece could be 10,000 words, but you only get a thousand words on the page, so it could be anything. And I feel like the whole point that we're working together is to make great content. If you start pushing back a ton and every edit, you're pushing back against growth, you're pushing back against understanding why they want that.

You can always ask questions. Um, but I know that there's a lot of writers who are like, I don't do a ton of edits. Like they, they just refuse to do them or, or when they write for a magazine, they're just like, no, this, uh, compromises the integrity of the piece or whatever. I just, I just feel like that is not applicable.

Like, I feel like it's the goal is to make great content and to make great content together. You have to compromise and you have to understand why you're making those compromises and how they help. So I do 99, probably 99% of the edits, maybe 90% I do them all. And if I'm confused about something, I ask a question, but I'm coming from a place of like the, they understand their audience to their clientele better, you know, maybe better than I do.

And two, I have knowledge and experience to double check that if I don't have knowledge and experience to double check. Ask those questions. Okay. I don't understand why we're making this edit. Can you walk me through why this matters? Can you understand? What's confusing about get on a call with someone and talk through it.

The other piece is that I always kind of give everybody the benefit of the doubt, right? When someone's coming to you and saying, make these changes, you're like, okay, like you, you trust that. That's what they want and that's the direction they should go in. Um, and you kind of. Um, build that trust over time.

And for me, like when you're working with certain magazines, like, so those editors sometimes have been there for 20 years or 30 years. It's not as common in. Um, people move around a lot more, but some editors are still there for 10, 20, 30 years and they have a lot of experience. So trusting them is a little bit more like that holds a lot more water.

You can trust them that they're asking you to do the right stuff for that publication or for that client. Um, the other thing is that when you're looking through. Most of the time those edits are making your work better. I have found this like nine times out of 10, right? 90% of the time when I asked to make edits, it makes my work better.

So then I, why am I fighting the process of my work getting better? I think that when people kind of like get so personally involved in a story and then they're like, well, we can't do that because then it changes this thing. I think that that's not as applicable. Like most of the time when I do edits almost every single time, it makes.

And over time, I build trust with my client so that they understand my work and I understand why I'm making these changes. And like, I trust them to catch mistakes in my work. I trust them to, um, say that this doesn't align with their, whatever it is, or I trust them enough to, for, to do what they ask.

Right? Like the edits that you shouldn't take, our anything. Yes, we will. I see you wagging your tail. The edits you shouldn't take, come from people that you have seen over and over again, ruin the quality of your work. Now I've gotten many. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Well we'll well, loo we're not waiting right.

We're not we're willing right now. You can get some pets. So the edits you shouldn't take. I get notes in my inbox about people who are like, Hey, my client or my editor made these edits and it's making my piece confusing or it's, um, it's ruining the quality of my work. And that happens. Sometimes there's people and editors.

Who give you negative feedback and they just want to put their hands in the honeypot. Like they just want to kind of touch all the things that go through that magazine for no other reason other than they want to touch them. Like, they're like, I did it like that. That's proof that they touched it or paid attention.

Right. Um, and any time you notice like that, there is a clear quality issue. That's when you really need to be careful about taking those. Um, when anything is confusing or anything is re leading the reader astray or false information or something where you're worried that it could be misinterpreted by the reader or it's something that is just really weird.

That's when you need to raise questions and that's when you should be like, okay, we kind of need to like pay attention to this. That doesn't mean we're taking away trust. It's just like a thing on our radar. Like one little boop on the radar. You know, one little thing that we need to watch for in terms of doing whether or not we do those edits and whether or not we ask questions about those edits.

Anytime you find that, that the quality is suffering and this can happen, right? People like they have responsibilities at the office and, and their boss is like, you need to edit this. And then they're like, well, I told someone told me I need to do it, so I need to do it. And if it suffers in quality, Sometimes there's a mismatch and this can happen with red light clients where like, they believe they're a better writer than you.

And maybe at the time, maybe by some magic they are. But, and most of the time they're not, they think that they're making the piece better. And you notice that it's making the piece worse, be careful about those edits, but you need to explain yourself. You can't just say like, no, I'm not going to do this and not give them an.

If they change something, you can go back and make a note and say, Hey, I think this is confusing because of ABC. Maybe we should change it to this instead. And kind of compromise in the middle between what you said and what they said. And most of the time they're like, oh yeah, you're right. I re-read it.

And dah, dah, dah. But I think the curiosity, the explanation, like the curiosity of asking question. The explanation of like, why it makes sense to do it a different way is a lot easier to convince people to make something that they changed into low quality back to high quality, any time that you see someone that, that messes with your work and makes it confusing, not understandable, jumpy, um, lowering quality, like all of those things should be raising your radar where you're like, Hey, we need to kind of talk this through, like, get on a call with.

Talk about what's going on and there are edits ready by. I don't know if you can catch this too little for you, but not many. I got many. There are edits. There you go. That you should not take. And most of those edits are confusing befuddled. Uh, they make the piece worse. They don't, they, they make it a bad transition.

Like the piece makes a weird. Um, it's ruining the quality. It's ruining the style or tone that like moves far away from what they're going for. All of these things are very obvious. Those are the edits you should not take. Hey Jennifer, welcome in. Okay, Getty. I see a comment in here. So Getty says the choir that I belong to just printed a variety of beautiful and colorful concert, promo mature.

For our forthcoming, June 11th concert. Someone noticed the text error June 11th. Oh no. So when he told me one, yeah, which is a bummer, but it happens, right. That kind of stuff happens. It's just like, people are human, they make mistakes. Um, that's a bummer, but yeah, th these kinds of errors happen and that was probably an edit they should have taken when someone's like, Hey, the year is wrong.

Um, but yeah, that's, that's a huge bummer and an yeah, totally inexpensive error. And that's another thing about edits, right? Should you take. If you don't take, um, edits, right. It could be that they print your story. Like it's physically printed right. In a magazine with stuff that's not as good. And then it's there forever.

Like they're not going to reprint the magazine. Right. Um, and I think that when you're thinking about, um, edits and harsh feedback and things that you should mention and take, you have to have trust in your clients. You have to build a relationship with. Um, you have to understand that most of the time they're motivated by what their audience is going to be liking and reading because they want clicks like shares, downloads, uh, more sales, more like they're motivated by that thing, doing a lot of work.

Our content, oftentimes it's a big workhorse, but you need to understand what types of things like stick out in your radar as being things you should ask questions about edits. You should not take and things you should excuse me, have, um, a call about or go through. Um, the reason why they made these changes or why it makes more sense to them.

Um, and yeah, like the same thing where sometimes your clients go through the document really quickly and they don't even, you know, they're not thinking about it as deeply as you and they make mistakes and that's cool too. We're all humans, people make mistakes, editors make mistakes, like even editors who have been editors for magazines for long, long periods of time.

Right. That's just part of being a human is we make mistakes. But when we're talking about comments and edits, we need to be careful about what we do and don't take. And I said, like I said, like nine times out of 10, 90% of the time, the edits you get are going to be worthwhile. No matter if their tone is harsh or it's really negative, or it's hard to take most of the time it's making your work better.

Marie says I had a client who fits. My work and loved what I did. I do a small amount of work for them, but I don't use it for my portfolio. Sometimes it's just releasing the end result. Yeah. That's another thing.

Step 3: How to Create a Growth and Learning Mindset to Easily Handle Feedback, Edits, and Critiques

So, um, let's talk about that for number three. So I'm going to pop number three up here, and then we're going to do a quick pup date.

My gosh, every time you guys move around, it's like, I've moved this camera to try to get everybody on the thing. And then everybody moves. All right, buddy. I think these are too little for you. Good job. All right, one more. Otherwise. Good job. You good luck. Alright. Good job everybody. So yeah, dog Druella answered.

The third thing is we're going to talk about number three, how to create this mindset. We want to create this mindset where we're not worrying about criticism so much, and that's part of releasing the end result. Sometimes. Very rarely is what I found. Sometimes you're going to end up with a piece that you just don't like, something you don't want to put in your portfolio is something you're not proud of.

Something that the client or editor insists is like, you know, is the thing that they want. And it just doesn't work for you. And that's okay. We can just let it go. Remember my boat metaphor. So I bring this up all the time. I have my paper origami boat, right. I have my paper origami. And I'm standing on the beach and my paper, origami boat serves as my work.

It serves as whatever work I'm going to submit. So I stay on the beach. I have, I have this very clear image of what it looks like. I stand on the beach. And I take my little paper, origami boat and I put it out in the ocean. I give it a little push and I'm like, goodbye, buddy. You know, I worked really hard on it.

It's very intricate paper boat. You know, it's got all these, um, you know, um, folds and all this important stuff and, and you let it go out into the ocean of uncertainty, which is what happens when you submit your work. You're just kind of like, all right, buddy, like we tried. And for me that was a big release is like, I'm not tied to.

The idea anymore. And I used to be, I, I'm not tied to the idea anymore that like I have failed if I get a bunch of harsh edits or if I get, if I made a mistake, like I'm more tied to the idea that I know I worked really hard. I know that I was diligent. I know I did the best that I could under the circumstances.

And I did the best that I could under the timeframe of the deadline I have that took me a long time to get there. But having this idea of just releasing that into the world and being like. Good luck, buddy. That gave me a lot more, um, a lot of relief away from the pressure of like what the end result will be like.

What Maria is saying is like whether or not I choose to put that in my portfolio is my own choice. And then whether or not that piece ends up being really great or really terrible based on edits, I still have the choice to release it and be like, you know what? I've written, I don't know, hundreds, hundreds of articles, hundreds of pieces.

And this one piece or these 10 pieces or just ones I'm not proud of out of the hundreds that I've made. That's like less than 1%. All right, cool. Whatever. So when we're talking about, um, hold on, let me pop this off. So when we're talking about, um, I just delete the thing I needed. No. Okay, good. So the mindset, when we're going into it is.

You have done your best work within the timeframe with what you have. You're not a robot. You can't 100% know everything about the topic. It's not possible. Even people who do research for decades and decades on one thing, right? They, they research happiness in this small timeframe or they research this one type of cancer or this, like, they don't know everything.

That's why they're doing all that research. Right. That's that's why they're continuing all this stuff. That's just part of being a human. You won't know everything ever. So you have to release this idea that you're getting these edits because you didn't know what you were. Now sometimes you get edits because you really didn't know what you were doing and you, and you flubbed it.

And that happens sometimes too most of the time, that's not the case, but yes, there are times as writers where we write something and we didn't know enough about the topic and we rushed through it and it was garbage stuff and we turned it in because we had to turn it in and we're like, Ooh. And then we have to do a bunch of edits and that's our own fault.

But most of the time when you're submitting. Um, I have found that, you know, I came to the realization and over many years is, I don't know, 5, 6, 7 years. I was working really hard and I was trying to find all the information I could and that I was trying to do all these. Like I started looking at the facts of me submitting my work.

Okay. Well, I'm definitely doing my best. I'm definitely being diligent. I'm separating out my writing process so that I know I'm spending the right amount of time getting these things done or I'm putting in the right amount of effort. And I feel good when I submit it. Like, I'm not worried about so much about.

Outside feedback, because I know from my own process that I'm doing a good job and I'm working hard and I'm doing the best I can. And once I came to that realization, then I don't worry so much about the end result. And I don't worry so much about the criticism because that's their idea. I have my idea and then the readers have their own idea.

So we need to kind of collaborate on all of those things, but it doesn't mean that getting edits means you didn't do it perfectly, or it didn't go good. The mistakes and the feedback are a necessary part of becoming a better writer, but you have to adopt this mindset. Like if you want to take the boat thing, go and run with it.

I have found that that has been just so freeing for me to be like the boat of my work, this little origami paper boat. It's so little, you know, it's like, in my mind, it's like the size of a, of a softball basically. And I put it out on this ocean of uncertainty. That's what you do when you submit your. And, um, if it helps too, you know, there's always that idea from Bernay brown and a bunch of other smart people.

It's all right. You're in the arena, right? You are in the arena and then there's people in this. Kind of think about it that way your in the arena. And as you know, I'm sure cause writers edit their own work and edit other people's work. It is a lot easier to edit something that's already been created than to create it from scratch.

Right. It's a lot easier to go and look at a painting and go look at a statute and be like, why didn't you do this? And why did you do this? And what, what is this here? And couldn't you have done this better. It's a lot easier to critique than it is to write, to actually create it from. And we know that our editors, editors at magazines do write pieces, but it's always easier.

Like, I haven't, I don't know if I've ever met anyone who said that editing is harder than actually putting the piece together. So writing itself, you're in the arena, right? You're, you're fighting the fight. You're doing the battles. Like you can imagine the Coliseum or whatever, but there's someone in the stands.

It's like, Hey, why didn't you do this? And you're like, well, I'm doing all this other stuff. There's like lions and tigers and bears and like other gladiators, like I'm trying my best. Like I'm putting it in. And I always kind of feel like that's kind of the idea you should think about is like the editing process.

It's a lot easier to find holes once the thing's already been made and someone starts really looking at it, like the idea of taking all of this knowledge and research and interviews and whatever your piece is, putting it in, writing, making it readable for people, making it fun. That's hard to do. And then someone comes by and they're like, poke, poke, poke.

That's a lot easier than someone who takes all of this information, amalgamates it together and makes it read it readable and fun and exciting for the audience and gets the audience to take action or gets the audience to understand what the brand stands for or builds brand trust, or gets downloads or shares or likes or clicks or comments, whatever.

So always kind of think of it that way. Like the criticism part is. There. Um, there's another quote that I think is helpful to hear is that nobody makes statues of critics, right? Like there aren't, there might be like a few statues of critics, like maybe like, you know, like famous, super famous people who did whatever.

But most of the time statues are made of people who tried really hard and did okay. Stuff barreling at me. Do you want to come up here and say hello? I'm gonna squeeze you. I'm bring up, bring you up here and make you say hello over here. All right. So most of the time statues are made, she's just like upset this cause he's on her thing.

And maybe the girl, um, statutes are made of people who are actually trying and actually doing the hard stuff. Right. They're the people who are working really hard to make that content wonderful. And it's a lot easier to be an editor or to be someone coming in and finding the holes. Like that's just way easier than actually doing the whole.

So the criticism part and the mindset part is like, you have to feel good about submitting your work. You have to feel good about letting your work stand. Like you're like I created it, it will stand, you know, it'll, it'll live in this ocean of uncertainty and then I'll get feedback, but you have to get to this point of like peace over submitting your work and being like, this was the best I could do right now.

That's it. Hey, Andy. Welcome ed. Um, Let's see businesses. I had a client add grammatical errors to the final edit and publish it. Yeah. I mean, he said I've had that happen to me too. And that I that's what that's, one of the things I was talking about, right. Is that sometimes you have these clients that like, think they know more stuff than you, and sometimes they do.

That's true. Sometimes they do, but oftentimes they don't. And then you end up in this situation where you're like, now I can't use this piece because you put all these errors in it and now. So sometimes, um, you know, the other thing that you can do here is save the original. So one of the things that, um, I think I did back in the day when I didn't have a ton of clips, not, I think I know I did this, but if there was a piece that had that, that had a bunch of errors or I wasn't proud of it, I would show the original piece.

And I was, I was like, if I was sending that as a sample, I would say, here's the original that I created. And here's the version that my client published. And then they. Um, the changes, like they can see like, oh, she didn't make those grammatical errors they did. And then there's kind of like this, um, there's at least like they can see the raw version of your work and then they can see like the published version and they may not catch the errors too, but that's an option.

All right. Um, Hey, Annie, Margaret says, yeah, we must do to Annie. We're glad you're back. Um, all right. Margaret says, would you say that the I'm going to pop my three off of here real quick? Hold on. All right. Would you say that the editorial process with the client should be included in the way that we assess our client boundaries?

What are some reasonable factors to consider? Um, yes. So your editorial process, there is a point where like some people in their contracts say I'm only going to do two rounds of edits. I don't say that I have adopted for a long time. That I just write the piece until they're satisfied with it. Or like we end the con like, if something goes wrong and we're just not a fit for each other, we just end the contract.

So for me, the boundaries are like, what edits will you, will you take? And won't you take? And then do you trust that person to make a good, make good judgment? Um, do you understand their audience at a level that they do or the things that they're driving at? Like they can explain to you what their audience wants and how.

The edit will help them get the thing they want or, um, help them understand why they need this product or service. So the editorial process with your clients and editors. Should be your boundaries of like, what is reasonable and unreasonable, right? Like if they're asking you to do dozens and dozens of edits, like, like over and over again, like if they give you a doc 12 times to do edits, that's different than someone giving you a doc filled with edits like that, you need to make just to get to the next round, because there are magazines where you just submit your work and you have like four editors and they look at it and it takes a lot of effort to get through it.

But you have to get. Um, but yeah, the idea is that this, some people end up in these situations where they end up doing edits for a long time. Like they submit a doc and then they get more edits and they submit a doc and they get more edits. And if you find that that's part of like a difficult, you know, that keeps happening, put that in your contract though.

There's only two rounds of edits or whatever. Um, I haven't had that issue, like knock on wood. I haven't had that. Um, I know other people have, so my content just says, like my contract says that I'll fix the content until they're happy with it. Or, you know, my contract says like, you know, if I'm either client or freelance or gives 15 days notice you can cancel the contract.

And I've had that happen to me where we're like, Hey, we're not on the same wave. Like I like what I'm doing and what you want are not the same. We should just cancel the contract. Um, and that happens that just. Um, but when you're thinking about reasonable factors, it's like how many times have you submitted the doc?

It's not necessarily always about how many edits are in that first piece, because sometimes you just bombed the piece and you have to fix it. And sometimes you thought you understood one thing, but you misinterpreted it and you misinterpreted it through the whole piece. So now you have to go back and fix everything.

Um, I also think a reasonable factor is like, once you start going through their edits, are those edits making sense? Like, can you trust that this is a fact that they're doing the right thing and as you go through them, you're like, oh, that makes more sense. And most of the time, like I said, like nine times out of 10, I'm like, I agree with their edits.

I'm like, oh yeah, we should. Um, the other factor to consider is like, if they're making your work worse, right? Like the quality is suffering, the other factors are, are they like, sometimes you just get people who had a bad day and they shit all over your writing and then you have a call with them and you're like, can you walk me through this?

And they're like, I got a bad day. And like, you know, like it's, it's sometimes that just is reflected outwardly. Right? So you get this negative feedback, you get these harsh edits because. Um, someone's not looking at your peace objectives early and that's fine. That's why we get on calls. Uh, but I think. As writers.

And I think this is natural. A lot of times in writers I've noticed it for me. It's been one of my strongest characteristics is being curious. That's why we like research. That's why we like to figure things out. That's why we like to create content. Right. We create things out of nothing. Like you start with a blank page and you end up with something that actually helps someone or helps them do or achieve something or solves a problem or answers a question for them.

Um, oh my gosh. Why are you so sad to see today?

Oh, my goodness. Okay. You don't have to say hello, but you got to stop barking at me. So, um, yeah, I think the deal is that you have to kind of figure out over time, like what what's actually reasonable and what makes sense for you. Oh my goodness. And um, I think, yeah, the, the most important thing. Is that the quality isn't suffering and that the reader is still getting the thing that they need.

The reader is still getting help. Um, but you creating something out of nothing is a big deal. Like that's hard to do. Um, and actually getting it to tab people do stuff is a big deal. Um, let's see if there's anything else I can think of. Um, I think that it's also a learning process. Like I said, you have to learn what boundaries make sense for you, what things that you will and won't do, what things compromise your quality and what things don't.

Um, what types of edits make sense. Um, and then there's other things too, like, are you being really over-protective of your work? Like sometimes there's writers that just won't compromise. They're like, this is the work and you will publish it as is. I don't think that's helping them. I don't think it's making them a better writer.

I don't think it's making them. Shine for that publication and those readers. I think that you should always keep that in the back of your mind, like who's actually reading this and who will actually get help from it. That's way more important. Um, cause they're the ones who will consume it and that the fact that it works for them, that consumption will be like, they share it with someone else and someone else and someone that is way better.

Like that's a way bigger factor than worrying about, um, Like whether or not, you know, the, the edits. Okay. I see you sassy. I'm gonna pick you up and you're going to have to say hello to everyone here. We're SAS machine.

Yeah. SAS machine. See your bug guys. She's wagging her tail. Oh my goodness. Gracious. Okay. So. I think that was it Margaret. I think those are all the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Um, but yeah, like the editing process and the harsh feedback and the multiple editors part, you will learn over time.

The more clients you work with. Oh, I think she drooled on my face. Uh, you'll learn more about like what to do and what not to do in the quality thing and the audience thing and what things make sense and whether or not you need more boundaries with your clients. I believe. And whether or not you see that the work has been changed enough that it's harming the reader basically.

Okay. Um, let's see. Um, Maria says some of those clients that fix our work needs shrunken. Oh yeah. Shrunken whites. L elements of style. Yeah. So sometimes they don't understand like actual grammar and stuff and. Um, Maria says I wrote a piece that was good. My client mingled it, mangled it, but paid really well.

So I smiled at my bank account and he was happy and I was glad it wasn't bylined. Yeah, sometimes that's what happens. Like that's part of it. Sometimes what happens is you get a piece you're really proud of it. Like you're really happy about it. And then the final published version is way different than what you started and you're not happy with it.

And you. The quality is worse. It's not helping the reader as much. And like, like I said, like, you don't have to share that version with potential clients. You don't have to publish it on your portfolio. Um, sometimes, you know, you're like, phew, thank God that wasn't bylined um, that happens sometimes.

There's there's, that's why I like the boat thing, because you have to release the sense of control. You can only control. I see you guys looking at my pants. I know you guys are like, give us more. You have to release this sense of control because the content really isn't yours. You're getting paid to create it for a brand or create it for an editor, like a magazine.

Um, and you have to release this idea that you can control every part of the process. Like you just, you just can't, um, you, you are working in a team and that's the other part. Oh, Margaret. Yes, Margaret that's. The other thing is there should be a teamwork attitude when you're doing these. Um, your editors and clients should be thinking about this as, as a collaborative process.

That's why I get so, so crazy and all up in arms about signing the right clients, because that filters through every process, including edits and including feedback, it should be a teamwork effort. They shouldn't be shitting on you and saying like, you're a bad writer because you made a mistake or you're that dah, dah, dah.

It should be. Uh huh. I wonder if we do this thing or I wonder if we should do that or maybe you should think about this. Like it's a. Teamwork process where they think about the piece as being a holistic joining effort of you and them. So that's another thing that filters to, that you should pay attention to with client boundaries is like, it has to be a teamwork effort.

It has to be something that they understand is not just like all on you. It's, it's a thing where you work together, right. You're working together to do edits or to double-check things. I guess I always made the assumption that my clients will fact check things. That's why I usually include links. Like I usually, um, include links sometimes.

I don't just because it's like, um, I don't know. It's something that they gave me. Like if they gave me a bunch of source stuff, like I don't always include the links because I only use the links they gave me. Um, but usually I do like most of the time I include links and then they can fact check it. And I always assume that they're like double checking that thing.

Um, but yeah, that's another thing to think about. Um, Margaret says I care more about the relationships I develop with the client rather than monopolizing the creative process. Yeah. I think that's more important. And like I said, like you should care not only about the client and their needs, but the reader that's like when people ask about why content goes viral, that's because of the reader.

That's because of the consumer of the. That's because they know what that, that, that group wants. And then the content goes viral. Cause they just hit all the right buttons. It has nothing like, that's the part that people miss. They're like we need content that needs good ROI and follows all our KPIs and by DOB and blah, blah, blah, like all these things, right.

Our EOB M and a business, or end of day. Right. So, anyways, what you care about is like the actual function that the reader's going to take. Are they going to download something? Are they going to like it, share it, understand something, walk away with trust in that brand that they can help them. Um, that's way more important than worrying about being a dictator, like Margaret said over the creative process.

Like you basically have most of the creative process. Anyways, the edits are like, after you've created the thing. Oh, gross. Thank you for coughing on my foot. Um, the, the creative process, you have most of it. Right? Are you okay? Do we need to call the geriatric vet? Um, the edits are the backend. The edits are the backend.

So you could contain most of the time, most of the creative process of like actually putting the puzzle together. Um, so yeah, I w I would care more about the relationship. Your clients and the relationships with your readers and learning that audience and, um, being able to create stuff that actually makes a difference for the reader.

That's what gets the results. Like that's the thing that makes a difference. All right. Margaret says, yes, queen that. I wonder if that was for Charlotte when I picked her up, because she's all wild. I see you down there. I see you. All right. Can you guys go to your Hobbit holes? If you feel like this has been helpful so far, hold on.

It puts the button. So if you feel like this has been helpful so far, give it a thumbs up. If you feel like you want to learn more about dealing with edits and editors or building a high earning freelance writing business subscribe. I'm also curious, um, if you have dealt with edits and editors in different ways than I have.

So if you have felt like you have, can you go back to your rabbit hole? All right. Maybe go back to your home. If you feel like you have dealt with them in a different way, and you want to share that in the comments. Good job. Um, you share that in the comments below. If you're watching this as a replay, I'm always interested is, is if there are processes that other people use for edits or if there's processes that other people use for writing their content, because I think that's super interesting.

So drop a comment below. If you have anything to share on you're watching this live. Um, and I think, you know, yeah, like I said, like I thought I did girl, good job. Um, collaborating with clients I think is the most important thing. And like I said, keeping the reader in the back of your mind is important.

And then dealing with criticism is normalized. Normalize the fact that as a writer, you're going to be critiqued. You're going to get feedback. It's going to be harsh and it's going to be nice. There's going to be a whole spectrum of. Um, what you are looking for is that the quality and the readers and the client, like the whole goal is still in focus rather than getting too granular on the piece itself and being like, no, it has to be this and we have to do this.

No, no, it doesn't have to be anything like it has to, you know, um, it has to meet the needs of the people reading it. That's pretty much it. Um, and of course be, you know, fun to read and exciting and all that stuff. So, um, I think those are all my points. I didn't think I got through all my main points. So, um, we're here every Friday.

We have these guys. They've been a little sassy, but well, you look like you're like an owl. You look like you're just like an owl in a tree, like waiting, waiting for your, your bird, bird, mom to feed you job. All right. Uh, hold on. Do you want one more? Oh, you didn't even make it. I bet. Good job. All right, buddy.

One more good job. Yeah. I like what Getty says too, that we're collaborating with them. We're not just order takers. And I think that's an important piece when it comes to edits too, is that, um, we're not order takers, but we're doing those edits because we've thought through why we should do them. And if they're helpful and that we have aligned ourself with are aligned ourselves with clients who think about it as a collaborative.

All right. People. So we're here every Friday at noon central time with a new life. Um, if you ever have a topic or a question that you want me to cover in the live stream, you can always go to Mandy ellis.com/question, um, and pop something in there. And I've done tons of topics and questions that have been added by subscribers and have been added by people on my email list.

Oh, that's another thing. Um, Free price and guide. If you're wondering what you should charge for the work we just talked about, um, you can go to Mandy ellis.com/pricing guide and get my free pricing guide. Um, I update it regularly. I'm actually about to update it because I had someone asked for something and I was like, oh, we should add that.

Um, so, and by we, I guess I just mean me. These two gremlins. Um, but I'm going to update it soon, but yeah, you can join the email list where I'd give out like quick hit tips in my newsletter. And then here it's just a lot longer and allowed. I'm allowed to actually explain things a little bit more. So thanks so much for hanging out.

Um, hope you guys have a great Friday and, um, yeah. See you next Friday.

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